Cows In The Corn

A Funny Little Story About Hymns and Praise Songs

Written by an unknown author

An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was.

“Well,” said the farmer. “It was good. They did something different, however. They sang praise choruses instead of hymns.”

“Praise choruses?” asked the wife. “What are those?”

“Oh, they’re okay. They’re sort of like hymns, only different,” said the farmer.

“Well, what’s the difference?” asked the wife.

The farmer said, “Well it’s like this … If I were to say to you, ‘Martha, the cows are in the corn,’ well that would be a hymn. If, on the other hand, I were to say to you, ‘Martha, Martha, Martha, Oh, Martha, MARTHA, MARTHA, the cows, the big cows, the brown cows, the black cows, the white cows, the black and white cows, the COWS, COWS, COWS are in the corn, are in the corn, are in the corn, in the CORN, CORN, CORN, COOOOORRRRRNNNNN,’ then, if I were to repeat the whole thing two or three times, well that would be a praise chorus.”

As luck would have it, the exact same Sunday a young, new Christian from the city church attended the small town church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was.

“Well,” said the young man, “It was good. They did something different, however. They sang hymns instead of regular songs.”

“Hymns?” asked the wife. “What are those?”

“They’re okay. They’re sort of like regular songs, only different,” said the young man.

“Well, what’s the difference?” asked the wife.

The young man said, “Well it’s like this … If I were to say to you, ‘Martha, the cows are in the corn,’ well that would be a regular song. If on the other hand, I were to say to you,

Oh Martha, dear Martha, hear thou my cry
Inclinest thine ear to the words of my mouth.
Turn thou thy whole wondrous ear by and by
To the righteous, glorious truth.

For the way of the animals who can explain
There in their heads is no shadow of sense,
Hearkenest they in God’s sun or his rain
Unless from the mild, tempting corn they are fenced.

Yea those cows in glad bovine, rebellious delight,
Have broke free their shackles, their warm pens eschewed.
Then goaded by minions of darkness and night
They all my mild Chilliwack sweet corn chewed.

So look to that bright shining day by and by,
Where all foul corruptions of earth are reborn
Where no vicious animal makes my soul cry
And I no longer see those foul cows in the corn,

then, if I were to do only verses one, three and four, and change keys on the last verse, well that would be a hymn.”

A Response To Fear

This Sunday's sermon covers the letter to the church in Smyrna from Revelation 2:8-11. As I read and studied today I was struck by the word fear. Not because it appears in the letter bit because it is something that predicates our culture today.

In the letter to the church in Smyrna, God basically states his knowledge of their suffering and persecution and offers them encouragement during this period of persecution.

But as I considered this letter, I kept coming back to "fear". Specifically, I was reminded of Matthew 10:28; "Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell".

We fear a lot these days, but most of the things we fear are not to be feared at all. But, i drew comfort in knowing that although we fear a lot in our culture today, we are not alone and we are not the first. Reading in Genesis and Exodus this afternoon I was reminded of some of our fearful ancestors.

With all that happened to Joseph by the hands of his brothers and by the will of God. After all that Joseph did to bless and provide for his father and his brothers. Genesis 50:15 tells of the fear his brothers had following their father's death; "When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said to one another, “If Joseph is holding a grudge against us, he will certainly repay us for all the suffering we caused him.”

And in Exodus 1 we read of the fear of Egypt; "A new king, who had not known Joseph, came to power in Egypt. He said to his people, “Look, the Israelite people are more numerous and powerful than we are. Let us deal shrewdly with them; otherwise they will multiply further, and if war breaks out, they may join our enemies, fight against us, and leave the country.”

Fear forces the fearful to respond. Joseph's brothers bowed and pleaded for their lives, Egypt's Pharaoh oppressed and murdered the Israelites. Yet both fears were unwarranted.

The first question for us must be, what do we fear. Next we should ask if it is a warranted fear. And finally we need to decide what our response to our fear is going to be.