Connected To My Truck

Two weeks ago I got a new (used) Ford Ranger. It was a deal that I could not pass up! When my wife told me about this truck, she mentioned that it was a manual transmission and, knowing that I have driven automatic transmissions since she met me, she asked if I knew how to drive a manual. I don't, but I'm sure I'll pick it up, it can't be too difficult.

For the first day or so after we got the truck I skipped around in the parking lot and down some of the side streets throughout our neighborhood, I killed the engine a couple dozen times as I learned the delicate balance of shifting into first gear, and I jarred the kids heads into the headrests several times as I they rode along with me. Then, I began to get the hang of driving a manual transmission truck.

The key to learning to drive this truck was simply getting a sense for when I was about to stall the engine and applying more gas or more clutch. Once I was connected to the truck in this way I found that getting it into first gear was simple. Likewise, having an established connection, where I could feel when the engine was being strained gave me the knowledge needed to shift up or shift down when I would drive this truck around town. And, this connection could only be established through time spent driving the truck.

When I considered this new connection with my truck I also considered other connections in my life; my connection with my children, with my wife, and with Christ. Wouldn't it be amazing if I could establish a connection with people in my life in the same way I have created a connection with my truck? Wouldn't it be amazing if I could sense when I am drifting away or, even better, if I could sense a need in their life or in my life to draw closer? wouldn't it be amazing if I could establish a connection so great that when their is pain, hurt, or sorrow, that I could immediately make an adjustment to correct the situation before the relationship begins to strain or, much worse, stalls out.

I desire this type of connection with my children, my wife, and with Christ. And I desire this level of a connection, where I can sense a drift and a strain int he relationships that we share. However this level of a connection can only come through one thing. This level of connection comes through the same thing that I was willing to pour into my truck and into learning to sense its needs, time.

I wonder what relationships are important to you. I wonder if you have the same desire to see a connection to people in your life as I do - to sense a drift or a strain as it is happening. I wonder if you are willing to pour in the needed time to see the connections made in these relationships established. Let us begin today.

I Knew I Loved Her

October 2nd, 2001. It had started with a simple agreement to meet. But when I saw the beauty of the young woman walking toward me I was speechless. Unable to form a coherent sentence, I walked right past her and her friend. But, not wanting this to be the end, I turned and walked with them. From 7:00 to about 7:10 I was hopeless, no words were spoken, no glances exchanged, no chemistry was seen. But then, when a disabled veteran lost his pants, we made an instant connection.

It was on this hill, on the lawn of the Quads at Indiana State University that I fell in love with Kim. After walking around the campus for more than an hour, I walked her back to her dorm and we found our way to a picnic table on the lawn of the Quads. We found ourselves talking about anything and everything that night - and into the very early morning hours.

As I said, we made a connection the moment I first spoke to her, we developed a friendship as we walked through campus, but I knew that I loved her somewhere around 2:00 am on October 3rd.

As I reminisce about the night that I met and fell in love with my - now - wife, I thank God for His hand working in various ways. I am thankful that Kim agreed to meet me that night. I am thankful that a disabled was unable to get inside without our assistance. I am thankful that his pants fell to his knees giving me the opportunity to speak to Kim for the first time. I am thankful that Kim's roommate left us alone to walk through campus that night. I am thankful that there was a picnic table to sit at on the lawn of the Quads. I am thankful that Kim never invited me up to her dorm room that night. I am thankful that we never had an awkward moment of silence that night.

I can't say just how Kim felt about me, but I know that I fell in love with her that first night we met as we talked on the lawn of the Quads. And I've fallen in love with her countless times from that day forward. 

A Walk Through ISU

This afternoon I had some extra time in my schedule. This is not typical! My wife and kids are away and I found myself in Terre Haute with two hours to spend. What was I to do? I did not want to waste this time. As I drove through town the idea struck me; "head toward campus". The Indiana State University campus is where both my wife and I went to college.

As I continued through town, headed north, the rain was coming down quite hard. My thought was that I would drive through campus and reminisce about the years spent there. But as I arrived on campus the rain had diminished and the clouds were clearing off. Perhaps I would have a few minutes before the storm continued. I parked and jumped out of the car. 

I ended up spending more than an hour walking through campus, walking more than three and a half miles. As I walked through campus i was reminded of many ways God blessed me in the three short years that I attended college at ISU. 

Indiana State University is not only where my wife and I attended college and received our degrees. The campus is also where we met, where we fell in love, and where I proposed to her. Likewise, it was during my time at ISU that I truly experienced Christ's transformational power in my life and discovered what it meant to live a Christian life. Through Fellowship of Collegiate Christians, I began to lead a campus ministry - skills that I still use today in striving to lead a local church. 

As I returned to the car, I said "thank you Jesus, for leading me to campus today". And, as I climbed in and shut the door, the rain began. A downpour had stopped for over an hour as I walked through campus and reminisced, now it had returned. 

So now I say, thank you Jesus, for blessing me with his widow of amazing weather. God is good!

Seeing Messes

This weekend I will celebrate 12 wonderful years of marriage to my wife. Each year that passes I feel that we grow closer together as we share in the highs and lows of marriage, parenthood, and life. And, while I feel that we have a great marriage and a unity in our marriage, there is one thing that we greatly differ on. We do not see messes the same way! 

When I enter a room, I see the clutter - clothing, toys, and everything that is out of its place - in the room. Likewise, when I enter a room, I see the dirt - crumbs, dust, cobwebs  in the room. Now, when this clutter or dirt is someone else's home, it doesn't bother me nearly as much as if it were in my own home. When this clutter or dirt is in my home, I cannot relax until it is cleaned up. This has proven to be a problem in the past, as you can imagine. 

For years this was a point of contention between my wife and I in our home. I would enter the house after a day of work and immediately begin to pick up and to clean up the house - not just one room, but every room. Why? Because it bothered me and I knew that I would not be able to relax until it was completed. My wife would say, "just come and sit down and relax". But I can't, this mess has to be cleaned up. 

(Let me pause here and clarify that our home is not a mess. Our home hasn't really been a mess in the 12 years that we have shared a home together. So when I write that it is a "mess" understand what I mean is that there is a smudge on the window, a doll on the floor, toothpaste in the sink, or a  couple popcorn kernels on the floor.)

As I wrote before, for years this was a point of contention between my wife and I in our home. However, one day we both realized something about our spouse. She realized that I do not mind cleaning, I somewhat enjoy it (more than the cleaning itself, I enjoy the final - clean - result). She came to the understanding that I enjoy cleaning and that it not only helps me relax, it also helps me release the stress that I have acquired throughout the day. And what I realized about her is that she she does not see messes in the same way that I do. In fact, to my wife it's not a mess.

My eyes were opened to the fact that my wife's eyes see Inge differently.

So, when my eyes see the mess, what is she seeing? She is seeing the handprints of our 14-month-old on the picture window and remembering that she stood there this morning yelling "bye bye" as I pulled out of the driveway. She is seeing the doll that our 9-year old held as she braided it's hair this afternoon - this doll that now has the super-complicated braid that my daughter and her mom have been practicing for weeks. She is seeing the toothpaste with a hint of blood in it after our six-year old lost his first tooth and now speaks slower and with a unmistakable lisp. And she is seeing the popcorn kernels that remind her of how she got to sit, cuddle, and eat popcorn with our 4-year old during his first day of summer break as they watched Handy Manny this morning. 

Perhaps my wife and I do not see messes in the same way. But, I thank God for the way she sees the "messes" in our home. And I wouldn't want it any other way. 

The Costs

Here I sit - at four o'clock in the morning - wide awake. My wife and I do not seem to get too much sleep these days, it is rare that either one of us get a full night of sleep. With a three-month-old, a three-year-old, a five-year-old, and an eight-year-old it seems like one of them is always awake - as if they are taking shifts throughout the night. So far tonight I have visited with three of the four!

A friend recently asked if we sleep well in our house. I responded; we sleep as much as can be expected for having four small children. And I am not complaining about the amount of sleep I get - or lack thereof. My wife and I knew what we were getting into when we decided to have multiple children. One of the "costs" of multiple children is that you must be willing to give up sleep on a regular occasion.

And, when I begin to think about it, there are several "costs" to having multiple children - but I will not begin to list them here. Yet, given all of the "costs", the benefits far outweigh the costs on any list that I could make - starring into the wide eyes of my infant daughter as she looks at me during her 3:00 feeding, singing over my other daughter as she drifts off to sleep with a bit of a smile on her face, and feeling my sons tiny toddler hand wrap my arm tightly around him as we "cuddle" in his bed. Who needs a full night of sleep when you have these gifts?

All this got me thinking about "costs". If we are not willing to face the "costs" we miss out on the gifts that wait for us. This is true in every relationship we have - friendship, marriage, parenting, and our relationship with Christ. But are we willing to face the "costs"?

Sometimes we wonder why we are not experiencing the great benefits in our relationships and yet we are not willing to face the "costs" that are required of us. Do we spend the time pouring into each of our relationships and into the people that we desire to be close to? Are we putting our money and resources into the individuals that matter the most? Are we willing to sacrifice some of the small things in order to build something that lasts?

Often the "costs" that we must face are sacrifices to us directly. We can never hope to build lasting relationships with friends, spouses, children, or Christ if we are overly focused on ourselves. Selfishness makes us more aware of the "costs" and causes us to overlook the gifts.

So let us take our focus off of ourselves and place our focus on others. And let us stop concentrating on the "costs" and begin to appreciate the gifts.

Your Connection Has Been Lost

On January 1st the law went into affect in Illinois, making it illegal to talk on a cellphone while driving without a hands-free device. Because of this law, I broke down and purchased a blue-tooth hands-free device.

I have been enjoying this device for talking on my mobile phone, becoming more productive while having a conversation. I have also been enjoying the ability to listen to music and podcasts throughout the day. 

The other day I left my phone on my desk and, as I walked through the church, I got out of range. As this happened my blue-tooth device notified me, in the most polite way, "your connection has been lost". 

Wouldn't it be nice if we had such a notification when we had lost other "connections" in our lives? What if a gentle voice spoke to is when we were loosing connection with our children or our spouse? We could, then, restore the line of communication or spend more time and attention reestablishing this needed connection. What if this same notification came to is when we had lost connection with God? We could be alerted that this essential life-sustaining relationship was strained or broken and take the required steps toward restoration. 

"Your connection has been lost." The fact is, God gives us just this type if notification, if we simply listen to it. God's Spirit lets us know when we have walked to far away - or gotten out of range. God's Spirit notifies us when we are in danger of loosing one of the connections in our life. God's speaks to us, daily, at just the right time and in just the right way. But, we must be tuned in, we must listen, and we must take notice when He speaks!

Water Heater

This past weekend we stayed on the church campground and had a close encounter when it came time to turn on the water heater. 

After turning on the gas - that is supplied by a small propane tank - I proceeded to the water heater, turned the dial to "pilot", pressed the supply button and inserted an open flame. It did not light so I went through these steps again. Time after time the water heater did not light.

I walked into the kitchen to turn on the gas to the range - to open the line and allow the gas to flow. What I was not aware of was that the valves - all four - are mislabeled and had been open the entire time. So, as I clicked the lighter and the open flame ignited the cloud of gas surrounding the stove, a flame shot from the top of the range in every direction.

The strange thing was that, when I got back to the water heater, the pilot light was ignited.

And, if the water heater pilot had ignited in the first place, I never would have gone to the range and I might not have turned off the gas in the kitchen. 

Another important point, Kim normally lights a candle in the kitchen every evening. Imagine the explosion!

It is important to recognize when God's hand is at work. It is important to see the small details and how the little things amount to a lot. It is important to overlook the frustrating moments - such as a water heater not igniting - and to focus on the amazing moments - such as the house not exploding. 

Live In Jesus Christ

My wife and I will celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary in May. Never, in the course of these 10 years have I thought of cheating on her or being unfaithful to her. Never have I even been tempted to break that commitment that I have made to her in the presence of God and our families. 

And although this is something that I recognize as a wonderful thing, it is not something that I speak of often or that I boast about with great pride. Why? Because being faithful to my wife is an expectation of me as her husband. 

And, strikes me that many Christians consider unfaithfulness to our spouse as an unthinkable act. But, so often, we live as though our commitment to Jesus Christ isn’t as important as our commitment to our spouse.

In Colossians 2:6-7, the Apostle Paul writes this;

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

To be saved means that we have received salvation - that we have been rescued from harm, danger or loss and that we have been redeemed from the consequences of sin. To be saved means that we have received Jesus Christ - Jesus is the only one that has the power to redeem us from the consequences of sin.

We claim our salvation in Jesus Christ with great pride – and we should. But, you see, salvation is only the beginning.

A lot of people have received salvation and they have received Jesus Christ. But for so many this seems to be the stopping point. A lot of people are redeemed from the consequences of sin and then they continue to live a life of sin.

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

A great example of living a life in Jesus Christ - being rooted and grounded in Him - is marriage. Marriage is more than wearing a wedding ring – it is a relationship. It takes on its meaning by the daily choices we make and the ways we respond to the pressures around us.

The Apostle Paul is urging The Church to stay grounded in our relationship with Jesus; established in faith. He is writing to people who have already received Jesus and are striving to live a life in Him. He is writing to people are struggling with the challenge of living out this relationship, in a world where Satan is attacking. Many of us, as Christians, we struggle in the same way - and we’re not always faithful to Jesus. 

But once we confess Christ we become part of His Church and we are bound to Him as a bride is to her groom. And Jesus wants more than the wedding day, He wants what every groom wants. Jesus wants to have a relationship with us, a relationship that is exclusive, a relationship that grows and flourishes.

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

A Thankful Perspective

A couple of things happened this last week that has brought me a new perspective:

Saturday: our youngest son was taken to the emergency room and we spent a total of five hour with him there as the doctor and nurses evaluated his condition.

• While at the hospital I was advised that the tire on our van was flat, soon finding that we had run over a nail.

Sunday: our youngest son was taken to the emergency room twice, then hospitalized overnight. 

• Both my wife and I stayed late into the night with our son in the hospital and stayed up until the early hours of the morning praying, worrying, and praying.
• My wife also spent the night and entire next day with him in the hospital, her absence was felt in a major way.

Monday: our oldest son woke up with a cold, he was unable to go to school.

• My wife and youngest are able to come home in the late afternoon but we are all exhausted from the previous days hospital visits.
• Our youngest wakes up at 3:30 a.m. and decides that he has enough sleep for the night.

Tuesday: our daughter woke up with a slight cold, we were sure she would be the next to get the full-blown virus. 

• Our oldest is still not able to go to school instead we decide to take him to the doctor, finding out that he has croup. 
• Our youngest has adopted a new sleeping schedule that does not include the hours of 3:00 to 6:00 a.m. (some of my favorite hours to sleep).

Friday: our car is unable (or unwilling) to start, the battery is dead.

• The new vehicle models completely lock up when the battery is dead, the trunk will not open, the key is locked in the ignition, and the transmission is locked in park.   
• We have inconveniently parked the car in front of the garage and are unable to get our van out.

Saturday: I threw my back out.

Now, given all of these things, some might think that our family had a right to be a bit tired or grumpy, or even to complain a few times. I might agree if it weren't for what happened on Thursday. On Thursday I had the opportunity to listen to a sermon from Gateway Church located in Caledonia, Ontario (not one of the typical podcasts that I listen to) on the topic of giving thanks to God. In this message they spoke  about the need to be thankful for the large and small gifts from God and introduced the concept; "1,000 to be thankful for". 

Not only did I grab a notebook on Thursday and begin to list some things that I am thankful for, I began sharing them with my family and church family, and I have continued, these last few days, to write more and more things that I have to be thankful for - gifts that God is bringing to me and to our family every day. 

And, through this process I have gained a new perspective, in marriage, in parenting, in pastoring, and in life. 

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. Colossians 4:2

Lead Strong, Love Stronger

Yesterday was Father's Day and we had the priviledge of having several great fathers join us for worship at church yesterday morning.

During our worship we honored these fathers but we also honored husbands and reminded them of their role. God has called all husbands and fathers to a higher standard. God has called husbands to love their wives in the same way that He loves us. God has called fathers to lead their children in the teachings and desires of  the Scriptures. God has called husbands and fathers to lead strong and to love stronger.

As a reminder of this calling we gave gifts to all husbands and fathers, including a bottle of Powerade. Remember: "Lead Stong, Love Stronger".

A Reminder: Lead Me

Sometimes we need a reminder. A reminder to give up our selfish ambitions. A reminder that others are counting on us. And a reminder to lead.

This song, "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real is a wonderful reminder. It reminds husbands of their first ministry, their duty to honor, love, and lead their wives. It reminds fathers that they are to committed to their children and their families, even when it's easier not to be. And it reminds us all that when things of this life seem to over burden us, our Father in heaven grants us the strength and ability to lead in spite of the evil in this world. 

Lead Me by Sanctus Real

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone