The Costs

Here I sit - at four o'clock in the morning - wide awake. My wife and I do not seem to get too much sleep these days, it is rare that either one of us get a full night of sleep. With a three-month-old, a three-year-old, a five-year-old, and an eight-year-old it seems like one of them is always awake - as if they are taking shifts throughout the night. So far tonight I have visited with three of the four!

A friend recently asked if we sleep well in our house. I responded; we sleep as much as can be expected for having four small children. And I am not complaining about the amount of sleep I get - or lack thereof. My wife and I knew what we were getting into when we decided to have multiple children. One of the "costs" of multiple children is that you must be willing to give up sleep on a regular occasion.

And, when I begin to think about it, there are several "costs" to having multiple children - but I will not begin to list them here. Yet, given all of the "costs", the benefits far outweigh the costs on any list that I could make - starring into the wide eyes of my infant daughter as she looks at me during her 3:00 feeding, singing over my other daughter as she drifts off to sleep with a bit of a smile on her face, and feeling my sons tiny toddler hand wrap my arm tightly around him as we "cuddle" in his bed. Who needs a full night of sleep when you have these gifts?

All this got me thinking about "costs". If we are not willing to face the "costs" we miss out on the gifts that wait for us. This is true in every relationship we have - friendship, marriage, parenting, and our relationship with Christ. But are we willing to face the "costs"?

Sometimes we wonder why we are not experiencing the great benefits in our relationships and yet we are not willing to face the "costs" that are required of us. Do we spend the time pouring into each of our relationships and into the people that we desire to be close to? Are we putting our money and resources into the individuals that matter the most? Are we willing to sacrifice some of the small things in order to build something that lasts?

Often the "costs" that we must face are sacrifices to us directly. We can never hope to build lasting relationships with friends, spouses, children, or Christ if we are overly focused on ourselves. Selfishness makes us more aware of the "costs" and causes us to overlook the gifts.

So let us take our focus off of ourselves and place our focus on others. And let us stop concentrating on the "costs" and begin to appreciate the gifts.

Changing Everything

Our children have always had an early bed time, sometimes they are ready for bed by 6:30 in the evening. And, for the most part, they have slept until 7:00 a.m. or later. Over the past couple of weeks our oldest son has begun to wake up earlier and earlier; 5:15, 4:45, 4:15. And, when he wakes up in the morning, he is up for the rest of the day.

Now, every morning we hear him in his room between 4:00 and 5:00 a.m. talking, singing, laughing, playing. I should add that he has two volumes; loud and louder, and he shares a bedroom with his ten month old baby brother.

This leaves us with a couple of options; force him to stay in his room and listen to him scream out (waking everyone in the house up) or get up with him and begin the day. As you can see, both options result in either myself or my wife (or both of us) up at a very early hour.

Neither Kim (my wife) or I are morning people but, given the above options, we are being forced into this lifestyle (at least for the time being). So, we can either deny it or accept it, we can either go to bed at an early hour or be tired and grumpy every day. So, we accept it, we go to bed early, we get up earlier, and we change everything! Why? Because when you decide to be a parent, children change everything.

Children Change Everything!

In effect, our son is saying to him mother and I; "Since you have decided to have me as your son, you must forget about your own desires, you must give up your personal wants, you must deny yourself some sleep, and adapt to my schedule every day from now on."

As a pastor and a believer in Christ it occurs to me that Jesus said something very similar; "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." (Luke 9:23) As followers of Jesus Christ we must give up our own desires, we must give up our personal wants, we must deny ourselves some sleep, some time, some pleasure, and follow Him and His schedule from now on.

Why? Because when you decide to be a follower of Christ, Jesus changes everything.

Jesus Changes Everything!

Rest Assured

I was reading Psalm 121 the other day;

"I lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. (Psalm 121:1-4)

Our youngest son is having some major issues sleeping right now, we are not sure if it is all because of his new teeth, because he feels bad, because he has established this as his schedule, or a mix of all three. Either way, my wife bears most of the burden of sitting with him and caring for him in the middle of the night. A couple nights ago, realizing how exhausted (and stressed) she was, I decided to sit up with him beginning at 2:00 a.m. Throughout the night I made various attempts to get him back to sleep and tried multiple "tricks" to make him happy and keep him quiet. Hours later, when the sun rose and the house began to stir, we were still awake, he was happy, I was not.

In the nights to come I have tried to talk my wife into allowing our son to "cry through it", hoping he will learn to put himself back to sleep and hoping that we can achieve a full night of sleep. Needless to say, his mother won't bite on my wonderful idea. She feels that when her son is awake, whether he is in pain, angry, or grumpy, she too needs to be awake and watching over him.

Thinking of Psalm 121, I find great comfort in knowing that God too won't sleep or slumber through our restless nights of pain, anger, or sorrow. The Psalmist continues;

"The Lord watches over you— the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore." (Psalm 121:5-8)

 God never sleeps or slumbers, you can rest on that. God always watches and cares for you, you can be assured of that.