Myths of Parenting

Today's devotion was too good not to share. I found that it particularly hit close to home for me, and two of my main struggles as a father. 

Two myths of parenting:
(1) Good parents always keep tidy homes.
(2) Good parents must always be "right".

Seeing Messes

This weekend I will celebrate 12 wonderful years of marriage to my wife. Each year that passes I feel that we grow closer together as we share in the highs and lows of marriage, parenthood, and life. And, while I feel that we have a great marriage and a unity in our marriage, there is one thing that we greatly differ on. We do not see messes the same way! 

When I enter a room, I see the clutter - clothing, toys, and everything that is out of its place - in the room. Likewise, when I enter a room, I see the dirt - crumbs, dust, cobwebs  in the room. Now, when this clutter or dirt is someone else's home, it doesn't bother me nearly as much as if it were in my own home. When this clutter or dirt is in my home, I cannot relax until it is cleaned up. This has proven to be a problem in the past, as you can imagine. 

For years this was a point of contention between my wife and I in our home. I would enter the house after a day of work and immediately begin to pick up and to clean up the house - not just one room, but every room. Why? Because it bothered me and I knew that I would not be able to relax until it was completed. My wife would say, "just come and sit down and relax". But I can't, this mess has to be cleaned up. 

(Let me pause here and clarify that our home is not a mess. Our home hasn't really been a mess in the 12 years that we have shared a home together. So when I write that it is a "mess" understand what I mean is that there is a smudge on the window, a doll on the floor, toothpaste in the sink, or a  couple popcorn kernels on the floor.)

As I wrote before, for years this was a point of contention between my wife and I in our home. However, one day we both realized something about our spouse. She realized that I do not mind cleaning, I somewhat enjoy it (more than the cleaning itself, I enjoy the final - clean - result). She came to the understanding that I enjoy cleaning and that it not only helps me relax, it also helps me release the stress that I have acquired throughout the day. And what I realized about her is that she she does not see messes in the same way that I do. In fact, to my wife it's not a mess.

My eyes were opened to the fact that my wife's eyes see Inge differently.

So, when my eyes see the mess, what is she seeing? She is seeing the handprints of our 14-month-old on the picture window and remembering that she stood there this morning yelling "bye bye" as I pulled out of the driveway. She is seeing the doll that our 9-year old held as she braided it's hair this afternoon - this doll that now has the super-complicated braid that my daughter and her mom have been practicing for weeks. She is seeing the toothpaste with a hint of blood in it after our six-year old lost his first tooth and now speaks slower and with a unmistakable lisp. And she is seeing the popcorn kernels that remind her of how she got to sit, cuddle, and eat popcorn with our 4-year old during his first day of summer break as they watched Handy Manny this morning. 

Perhaps my wife and I do not see messes in the same way. But, I thank God for the way she sees the "messes" in our home. And I wouldn't want it any other way. 

We Have A Problem

Just a couple of weeks ago, during a physical, I found out that I have another hernia in need of surgical repair.

I had a hernia surgically repaired twenty years ago, when I was 13 years old. After the surgery, the surgeon told me two things that I still remember to this day. First, he said that I had probably had the hernia since I was 3. He also stated that I was likely to develop another hernia in the years to come. 

So, here I am, at the age of 33 facing the news of a second hernia. It could be much worse. And while a hernia repair is a fairly routine, outpatient surgery, the news still came as quite a shock during my recent physical. 

The doctor asked me if I had dealt with any pain from the hernia and, of course, I said "no". I had no idea that I had a hernia! 

However, since receiving the news, I can't stop thinking about my hernia. And, I am feeling the pain quite regularly and severely. 

Tonight, as I sat dealing with some sharp pains, I thought of how similar this situation is to our sin. 

There was a time in each of our lives that we were unaware of our sin problem. We had no idea that our sin was keeping us separated from the God that created us and loves us. 

But once our sin problem was brought to our attention, we began to deal with our reality. We were plagued by the nuisance  of our sin problem and painful consequences that our sin problem posed for our lives - now and forever. 

After a recent visit to a surgeon I was told that I could choose to get the needed surgical repair and take care of the problem right away. However, I was also given the option of waiting until the hernia got worse, at which time I could schedule the surgery. The surgeon did warn me that if I waited too long - and if the hernia got too severe - I would have the risk of gangrene setting in. 

In the same way, once our sin problem has been exposed - once we are diagnosed as sinners in need of salvation through Jesus Christ - we have a choice. We can accept His gracious gift of salvation right away and be free of our guilt, our shame, and the eternal consequences of our sin problem. Or we can continue to deal with the reality of our sin problem and refuse to free gift of salvation through Jesus Christ. Of course, there is always the risk of waiting to long. 

And while gangrene is a horrible consequence, eternal separation from

God is much worse - and irreversible.

So, in view of your sin problem, what will you do? 

Three Questions At Night

I recently began asking these three questions to my children before we pray at night: 

What do you want to thank God for?

What do you need to ask God to forgive you for?

What do you need to ask God to help you with?

The Kingdom of Heaven

Since a very young age, I was taught The Lord's Prayer. I have particularly found memories of saying The Lord's Prayer when we would gather at my grandparents for a special meal - for holidays or special celebrations.

Our Father, which art in heaven,

Hallowed be thy Name.

Thy Kingdom come. 

Thy will be done in earth, 

As it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses,

As we forgive them that trespass against us. 

And lead us not into temptation, 

But deliver us from evil. 

For thine is the kingdom,

The power, and the glory,

For ever and ever.

Amen.

The other day I was meditating on the words of The Lord's Prayer, specifically on the phrase Thy  Kingdom come.

John the baptist had a single message that he repeated throughout his ministry

• Matthew 3:2; Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.
• Mark 1:15; The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!

Likewise, Jesus had a single message that He repeated throughout His ministry

• Matthew 4:17; From that time on Jesus began to preach,“Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.”
• Luke 10:11; Yet be sure of this: The kingdom of God has come near.

Jesus even called His followers to bring this same message

• Matthew 10:7; As you go, proclaim this message: ‘The kingdom of heaven has come near.’

In Matthew 5, Jesus begins His most famous teaching, “The Sermon on the Mount”, and He begins by announcing various blessings to the people listening to Him.

• The first blessing that Jesus announces relates to His Kingdom message
  • Matthew 5:3; Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
• The last blessing that Jesus announces also relates to His Kingdom message
  • Matthew 5:10; Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

The way Jesus announces these blessings to the poor in spirit and he persecuted is much different than the way He was preaching – and teaching – to the masses.

• There is a distinct difference between the knowledge that “the Kingdom of heaven is near” and this “ownership” of the Kingdom that Jesus announces to the broken and the persecuted – “theirs is the Kingdom of heaven”.

I could tell you that the Kingdom of heaven is near, and you may believe me, but that won’t make a difference in your life.

John 3:3; Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.

• We must SEE – recognize – the Kingdom of God by being born again

Mark 10:15; Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.

• We must RECEIVE – acknowledge and accept – the Kingdom of God
• We must ENTER the Kingdom of God – but how?

John 3:5; Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit.

• We must ENTER the Kingdom of God by being born of water and spirit – transformation

Matthew 7:21; Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.

• We must ENTER the Kingdom of God by doing the will of God, our Father

Acts 14:22; We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God

• We must ENTER the Kingdom of God by going through hardships and persecution

Matthew 5:20; For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.

• We must ENTER the Kingdom of God by accepting Christ’s righteousness as ours

1 Corinthians 6:9; Wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived:Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

• We will INHERIT the Kingdom of God when we become righteous through Christ

1 Corinthians 15:50; Flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable.

• We cannot INHERIT the Kingdom of God unless we are fully transformed by God

The message for us, today, is simple; the Kingdom of heaven is near

• We must first SEE IT
• Then we are able to RECEIVE IT
• We must then ENTER IT
• So that we may INHERIT IT

Christian Walk and Riding a Bike

 Almost four years ago I wrote a post about teaching our daughter to ride a tricycle, and then a bicycle with training wheels (you can read it here). In this post I quoted author Robert Tuttle, who wrote that the "Christian walk is much like riding a bicycle; we are either moving forward or falling off".

I was recently reminded of this quote - and my post - when I took our son out to the church parking lot and he asked me to remove the training wheels from his bicycle.

Not only have I had the pleasure of teaching my oldest two children how to ride a bike, I have also had the great honor of baptizing them into the family of God. 

The same week that Zion took off on his bicycle on two wheels he was also baptized, both of these events happening at the church. Both of these milestones required teaching from me and commitment for them. And I will remember the joy of both of these events for the rest of my life.

Exchanging Our Soul

Mark 8:36 For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?

Matthew 16:26 What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?

These passage iare heavy on my mind and heart tonight. And the question; "is there anything that I am I exchanging my soul for?" To help bring context and understanding to to these - well-known - passages, I considered the following passages as well. 

Job 2:4 "Skin for skin!” Satan replied. “A man will give all he has for his own life.

Psalm 49:16-17  Do not be overawed when others grow rich, when the splendor of their houses increases; for they will take nothing with them when they die,their splendor will not descend with them.

Philippians 3:7-9 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 

Let us not exchange our soul for anything. Let us fix our eyes - our minds - our hearts - our everything on Christ and the eternal home He has for us.