because that's the way dad did it

The other night I was putting the kids to bed and, in addition to our regular bedtime routine, I told them good night in a very strange voice with some added motions. My wife, Kim, asked me what I was doing, why I used these voices, and why I used these particular motions. My answer was simple; "because that's the way dad did it".

This simple phrase really got me thinking as the night went on. I began to think of the many actions I take, the many routines that I follow every day "because that's the way dad did it".

My dad would do some of the simplest things on a daily basis that seemed to have had a great impact on my life. piggy-back or horsey-back rides to bed that seemed to last for an hour, potty-breaks in the middle of the night so that we would break that pesky bed-wetting problem, making up silly songs with us and about us, trapping us in a make-believe cave while wrestling with us at the same time, giving us rides on his shoulders when we seemed to tired to take another step, giving us rides on his feet when we needed a laugh, and many other memorable things that he did that I think back on and can't help sharing with my children too. But it is not just the fun activities that my dad passed down to me that I share with my children, it also seems to be the disciplines, making them drink all of their milk before they get up from the table, ensuring that they treat their mom, my wife, with respect and are never cruel, giving them "the look" or even "the voice" when they behave inappropriately in public and especially at church, and making sure that they say their prayers before meals and bed every night.

I thought not only of my children, the way that I treat them, the way that I raise them, but also about my wife and my marriage. The small things that my dad did for my mom remain in my head and they seem to have made it to my marriage as well. Opening the door for my wife whenever possible, surprising her with unexpected gifts throughout the year, making the holidays (especially the Christmas season) a special time, and many more.

All of this helped me to realize just how much of an impact fathers have on the lives of their children. Often times as a father we may wonder if the things that we do really serve a purpose and if it is all really worth it, let me say that it is. Sometimes the actions, the little things that we do may seem to be unappreciated and we may feel that no one cares, perhaps even that no one notices. Yet, in the same way that a rock is smoothed and forms under the gentle pressure of a stream, over time fathers are making a huge impact on their children and on their family. If you are a father and you are doubting yourself, your role, and the responsibilities that you are carrying out, just know that, as time goes on, as children mature and advance, your impact and your legacy is being established.

Further, if you are a follower of God, the one true God who created the heaven and the earth, the God that loves and cares for you and me more than we could ever imaging, "that's the way dad did it" carries a higher meaning to you and should impact the way that you lead your family. Our God is a God that governs with mercy, love, and forgiveness. Our God is a God that teaches His children at the various ages and stages as they grow and mature along side Him. Our God is a God that never leaves and never forsakes his children. Our God is a God that keeps His love as the focus of all judgments, actions, and disciplines. But, in order for a believer to say "that's the way dad did it" we need to be familiar with our Father in Heaven, we need to be walking with Him as He is guiding us, teaching us, and maturing us in our personal journey with Him.

Romans 8:15 says: "but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." If it's been a while, your Father wants to hear from you and He wants to make it clear the way that He does it, which is the only way to do it.