Connected To My Truck

Two weeks ago I got a new (used) Ford Ranger. It was a deal that I could not pass up! When my wife told me about this truck, she mentioned that it was a manual transmission and, knowing that I have driven automatic transmissions since she met me, she asked if I knew how to drive a manual. I don't, but I'm sure I'll pick it up, it can't be too difficult.

For the first day or so after we got the truck I skipped around in the parking lot and down some of the side streets throughout our neighborhood, I killed the engine a couple dozen times as I learned the delicate balance of shifting into first gear, and I jarred the kids heads into the headrests several times as I they rode along with me. Then, I began to get the hang of driving a manual transmission truck.

The key to learning to drive this truck was simply getting a sense for when I was about to stall the engine and applying more gas or more clutch. Once I was connected to the truck in this way I found that getting it into first gear was simple. Likewise, having an established connection, where I could feel when the engine was being strained gave me the knowledge needed to shift up or shift down when I would drive this truck around town. And, this connection could only be established through time spent driving the truck.

When I considered this new connection with my truck I also considered other connections in my life; my connection with my children, with my wife, and with Christ. Wouldn't it be amazing if I could establish a connection with people in my life in the same way I have created a connection with my truck? Wouldn't it be amazing if I could sense when I am drifting away or, even better, if I could sense a need in their life or in my life to draw closer? wouldn't it be amazing if I could establish a connection so great that when their is pain, hurt, or sorrow, that I could immediately make an adjustment to correct the situation before the relationship begins to strain or, much worse, stalls out.

I desire this type of connection with my children, my wife, and with Christ. And I desire this level of a connection, where I can sense a drift and a strain int he relationships that we share. However this level of a connection can only come through one thing. This level of connection comes through the same thing that I was willing to pour into my truck and into learning to sense its needs, time.

I wonder what relationships are important to you. I wonder if you have the same desire to see a connection to people in your life as I do - to sense a drift or a strain as it is happening. I wonder if you are willing to pour in the needed time to see the connections made in these relationships established. Let us begin today.

I Knew I Loved Her

October 2nd, 2001. It had started with a simple agreement to meet. But when I saw the beauty of the young woman walking toward me I was speechless. Unable to form a coherent sentence, I walked right past her and her friend. But, not wanting this to be the end, I turned and walked with them. From 7:00 to about 7:10 I was hopeless, no words were spoken, no glances exchanged, no chemistry was seen. But then, when a disabled veteran lost his pants, we made an instant connection.

It was on this hill, on the lawn of the Quads at Indiana State University that I fell in love with Kim. After walking around the campus for more than an hour, I walked her back to her dorm and we found our way to a picnic table on the lawn of the Quads. We found ourselves talking about anything and everything that night - and into the very early morning hours.

As I said, we made a connection the moment I first spoke to her, we developed a friendship as we walked through campus, but I knew that I loved her somewhere around 2:00 am on October 3rd.

As I reminisce about the night that I met and fell in love with my - now - wife, I thank God for His hand working in various ways. I am thankful that Kim agreed to meet me that night. I am thankful that a disabled was unable to get inside without our assistance. I am thankful that his pants fell to his knees giving me the opportunity to speak to Kim for the first time. I am thankful that Kim's roommate left us alone to walk through campus that night. I am thankful that there was a picnic table to sit at on the lawn of the Quads. I am thankful that Kim never invited me up to her dorm room that night. I am thankful that we never had an awkward moment of silence that night.

I can't say just how Kim felt about me, but I know that I fell in love with her that first night we met as we talked on the lawn of the Quads. And I've fallen in love with her countless times from that day forward. 

Quiet House

I have four children, so there is rarely a quiet moment around the house. This past week my oldest daughter has been at church camp and my wife took our three youngest children to her parents for Independence Day weekend.

Our house grew a bit quieter on Monday, after we took our daughter to camp. But on Wednesday, when my wife and I three youngest left, the house crew silent.

To be fully honest, I thought that I would enjoy the time alone. I looked forward to getting some extra work and reading done while the family was away. And, I look forward to watching television and sleeping in.

Of course I missed my wife and children from the moment they left, however I was enjoying having the house and the television to myself. 

But by Thursday morning - less than 24 hours after they left - that I was missing them terribly. I woke up to complete silence, no beds or breakfast to make, no one to pick up after and no one to talk with. Almost two days later, here I sit, still missing my family terribly! 

As I walked through Walmart today I thought of how different life would be if I were single - if I lived alone. I cannot - I do not want to - imagine my life without my family. 

Whether you live alone or not, are single or married, have several children or none at all, you were not meant to be alone. 

There is something within each one of us that longs for family or friends - or both. There is something within each one of us that  desires a life in community. 

Seeing Messes

This weekend I will celebrate 12 wonderful years of marriage to my wife. Each year that passes I feel that we grow closer together as we share in the highs and lows of marriage, parenthood, and life. And, while I feel that we have a great marriage and a unity in our marriage, there is one thing that we greatly differ on. We do not see messes the same way! 

When I enter a room, I see the clutter - clothing, toys, and everything that is out of its place - in the room. Likewise, when I enter a room, I see the dirt - crumbs, dust, cobwebs  in the room. Now, when this clutter or dirt is someone else's home, it doesn't bother me nearly as much as if it were in my own home. When this clutter or dirt is in my home, I cannot relax until it is cleaned up. This has proven to be a problem in the past, as you can imagine. 

For years this was a point of contention between my wife and I in our home. I would enter the house after a day of work and immediately begin to pick up and to clean up the house - not just one room, but every room. Why? Because it bothered me and I knew that I would not be able to relax until it was completed. My wife would say, "just come and sit down and relax". But I can't, this mess has to be cleaned up. 

(Let me pause here and clarify that our home is not a mess. Our home hasn't really been a mess in the 12 years that we have shared a home together. So when I write that it is a "mess" understand what I mean is that there is a smudge on the window, a doll on the floor, toothpaste in the sink, or a  couple popcorn kernels on the floor.)

As I wrote before, for years this was a point of contention between my wife and I in our home. However, one day we both realized something about our spouse. She realized that I do not mind cleaning, I somewhat enjoy it (more than the cleaning itself, I enjoy the final - clean - result). She came to the understanding that I enjoy cleaning and that it not only helps me relax, it also helps me release the stress that I have acquired throughout the day. And what I realized about her is that she she does not see messes in the same way that I do. In fact, to my wife it's not a mess.

My eyes were opened to the fact that my wife's eyes see Inge differently.

So, when my eyes see the mess, what is she seeing? She is seeing the handprints of our 14-month-old on the picture window and remembering that she stood there this morning yelling "bye bye" as I pulled out of the driveway. She is seeing the doll that our 9-year old held as she braided it's hair this afternoon - this doll that now has the super-complicated braid that my daughter and her mom have been practicing for weeks. She is seeing the toothpaste with a hint of blood in it after our six-year old lost his first tooth and now speaks slower and with a unmistakable lisp. And she is seeing the popcorn kernels that remind her of how she got to sit, cuddle, and eat popcorn with our 4-year old during his first day of summer break as they watched Handy Manny this morning. 

Perhaps my wife and I do not see messes in the same way. But, I thank God for the way she sees the "messes" in our home. And I wouldn't want it any other way. 

Poppy

I'm sitting on a plane - in Traverse City, Michigan - as we taxi down the runway, headed toward Detroit. 

Our family vacation began on Friday and - as we arrived at the lake cottage - it began with some difficult news. My grandpa - "Poppy" - passed away on Friday afternoon. 

This morning I am headed to my parents to prepare for the funeral and to try and bring some comfort and encouragement through a funeral meditation. This morning I am headed to my parents while Kim and our children stay in Michigan.

I am reminded at times such as these just how brief life is and how important family is. I will miss Poppy, his jokes, his stories, and his life. Most of all I will miss his character, his humility, and his family values. Poppy was God-fearing, family-focused man. 

I pray that I can be a husband such as he was - loyal and honoring for 63 years. I pray that I can be a father such as he was - a loving and gentle leader. I pray that I can be a friend such as he was - patient and forgiving. 

As I head south, I miss my wife and I miss my children. And, in our brief separation from one another, I pray that I will learn how to - and I pray that I will grow to be - the husband, father, and friend that Poppy was - the husband, father, and friend that they deserve. 

The Costs

Here I sit - at four o'clock in the morning - wide awake. My wife and I do not seem to get too much sleep these days, it is rare that either one of us get a full night of sleep. With a three-month-old, a three-year-old, a five-year-old, and an eight-year-old it seems like one of them is always awake - as if they are taking shifts throughout the night. So far tonight I have visited with three of the four!

A friend recently asked if we sleep well in our house. I responded; we sleep as much as can be expected for having four small children. And I am not complaining about the amount of sleep I get - or lack thereof. My wife and I knew what we were getting into when we decided to have multiple children. One of the "costs" of multiple children is that you must be willing to give up sleep on a regular occasion.

And, when I begin to think about it, there are several "costs" to having multiple children - but I will not begin to list them here. Yet, given all of the "costs", the benefits far outweigh the costs on any list that I could make - starring into the wide eyes of my infant daughter as she looks at me during her 3:00 feeding, singing over my other daughter as she drifts off to sleep with a bit of a smile on her face, and feeling my sons tiny toddler hand wrap my arm tightly around him as we "cuddle" in his bed. Who needs a full night of sleep when you have these gifts?

All this got me thinking about "costs". If we are not willing to face the "costs" we miss out on the gifts that wait for us. This is true in every relationship we have - friendship, marriage, parenting, and our relationship with Christ. But are we willing to face the "costs"?

Sometimes we wonder why we are not experiencing the great benefits in our relationships and yet we are not willing to face the "costs" that are required of us. Do we spend the time pouring into each of our relationships and into the people that we desire to be close to? Are we putting our money and resources into the individuals that matter the most? Are we willing to sacrifice some of the small things in order to build something that lasts?

Often the "costs" that we must face are sacrifices to us directly. We can never hope to build lasting relationships with friends, spouses, children, or Christ if we are overly focused on ourselves. Selfishness makes us more aware of the "costs" and causes us to overlook the gifts.

So let us take our focus off of ourselves and place our focus on others. And let us stop concentrating on the "costs" and begin to appreciate the gifts.

Your Connection Has Been Lost

On January 1st the law went into affect in Illinois, making it illegal to talk on a cellphone while driving without a hands-free device. Because of this law, I broke down and purchased a blue-tooth hands-free device.

I have been enjoying this device for talking on my mobile phone, becoming more productive while having a conversation. I have also been enjoying the ability to listen to music and podcasts throughout the day. 

The other day I left my phone on my desk and, as I walked through the church, I got out of range. As this happened my blue-tooth device notified me, in the most polite way, "your connection has been lost". 

Wouldn't it be nice if we had such a notification when we had lost other "connections" in our lives? What if a gentle voice spoke to is when we were loosing connection with our children or our spouse? We could, then, restore the line of communication or spend more time and attention reestablishing this needed connection. What if this same notification came to is when we had lost connection with God? We could be alerted that this essential life-sustaining relationship was strained or broken and take the required steps toward restoration. 

"Your connection has been lost." The fact is, God gives us just this type if notification, if we simply listen to it. God's Spirit lets us know when we have walked to far away - or gotten out of range. God's Spirit notifies us when we are in danger of loosing one of the connections in our life. God's speaks to us, daily, at just the right time and in just the right way. But, we must be tuned in, we must listen, and we must take notice when He speaks!

What If Your Purpose...

 

What is the purpose of your life?

Most hope, dream, pray that their life will impact many people.

At times I have listened to and watched well-known preachers, and pastors of mega-churches and thought; "what would it be like to be in such a place of influence. Challenging? Stressful? Perhaps.

Yesterday I stumbled upon another pastor's blog. I have never met this gentleman, I have never heard of him, his church, I can't even recall where he lived. But I did notice that he had more than 1,000 blog followers - people "subscribed" to his blog and who semi-regularly looked at the thoughts that he recorded on his blog. Then I thought of my own blog, I have several "regular readers", a couple "subscribers" - yet I still influence others.

Today I stopped by McDonald's to get a drink. While I was standing in line a man seemed to be peaking over my shoulder. I made eye contact with him and he apologized. Then he explained that he was trying to see the title of the book I was reading (Praying The Lord's Prayer for Spiritual Breakthrough). We had a brief conversation - in line and at the drink station - then we parted ways. 

What if your life came down to one "post", one thought? What if your life came down to one moment of encouragement? What if you were created to touch - to speak into - the life of one person for one moment?

What if my purpose on this earth was to preach one sermon? What if my life came down to one conversation in a line at McDonald's? What if I was created so that I could speak truth and love and encouragement and peace and encouragement into the life of one person or one small group of people?

Lead Strong, Love Stronger

Yesterday was Father's Day and we had the priviledge of having several great fathers join us for worship at church yesterday morning.

During our worship we honored these fathers but we also honored husbands and reminded them of their role. God has called all husbands and fathers to a higher standard. God has called husbands to love their wives in the same way that He loves us. God has called fathers to lead their children in the teachings and desires of  the Scriptures. God has called husbands and fathers to lead strong and to love stronger.

As a reminder of this calling we gave gifts to all husbands and fathers, including a bottle of Powerade. Remember: "Lead Stong, Love Stronger".